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Reuters: Top News

Monday, April 6, 2009

Wife Vs Husband

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not
saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither
of them wanted to
concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs the
husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”

“Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”

* WORDS**

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words
women use a day…30,000 to a man’s 15,000.

The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat
everything to men…

The husband then turned to his wife and asked,
“What?”

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

“The wife responded, “Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you
would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

* WHO DOES WHAT*

A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up
first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.

“The husband said, ” You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
coffee.

“Wife replies, “No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that
the man should do the coffee.

Husband replies, “I can’t believe that, show me.”

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and
showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed
says…”HEBREWS”

* THE SILENT TREATMENT*

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that
the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early
morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.”

He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was
9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he has about to go and see why his wife hadn’t awakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always
a rough draft before the masterpiece.

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